All Over and After!
by WhiteGloves
Summary: Kurt and Blaine mutually know they were over... but love is still a matter of choice, right? -4x04-
1. Chapter 1

**All Over and After!**

_by: WhiteGloves_

_**I hoped that BLAINE got up early to sneak away when KURT was waiting for him to do that… then maybe KURT had talked to him and there wouldn't be any need for fanfics like this one ;)**_

**What I call—an UNFINISHED TALK.**

* * *

Kurt sat on the floor of their apartment with his hands on his phone, his back pressed on one of the stone columns. His phone was vibrating nonstop with Blaine's face on the screen. He was calling him. _Again. _

Kurt just stared at the vibrating gadget with no intention of answering it e_ver. _He may actually be mopping right now and felt like he'd be unable to get over the shock of his heart, but he has no intention of forgiving Blaine. What he did was painful—it was a serious scar in their relationship that not even a song can cure. Besides, he doesn't have the courage to face Blaine… he was not ready… Well—maybe not for the next centuries of their lives. If _Edward Cullen _can be so forgiving to _Bella _when she was all over _Jacob_ that's probably because he was too soft, but he isn't.

Well, at least, he was trying hard not to.

To count till now since they last saw each other last week, this was already the 92nd time that Blaine was _trying_ to reach him. Personally, Kurt doesn't feel like he was sorry for it at all. He needed space. A lot of it after what Blaine did.

A single tear ran down Kurt's right cheek followed by an uncontrolled sob that escaped his lips. His chest felt heavy as he stared down Blaine's face on his phone. He was feeling pain all over his body again. Things didn't feel right. His heart didn't feel right… It was scary how his heart felt like it was already dead when here he was breathing and alive…

God, was this the feeling of eternal death? It was _miserable. _

Kurt closed his eyes and pressed the phone on his lips, and it happened—nonstop tears followed by his own soft cry of pain. He really felt like being torn apart.

"Kurt?"

Kurt jerked his head up with a start and saw that Rachel was peering over him. He didn't even notice her arrival.

"Oh," he gasped, avoiding her eyes and looking all over the house with eyes as red as tomato, "I didn't hear you—you're here…" he tried to smile but his emotion failed him and the next thing he knew he was crying over Rachel who instinctively offered her shoulder to her best friend.

"Oh, Kurt," she whispered sounding like she was also in pain as she rubbed down his back, "It's okay… "

And Kurt, who was already broken, cried down his heart.

A few minutes later, Rachel was on the floor together with Kurt, who was still looking on his phone that has finally stopped vibrating. And Kurt sighed. Rachel gave him her knowing look with a sad curve on her beautiful lips, before saying,

"I didn't want to ask you about Blaine until you're ready…" she started slowly, "I know how you feel right now Kurt, believe me… and the way you handled it for a week really amazed me! But, I was also hoping that you'd come out and talk about it too… because I know it's painful…"

Kurt managed a small smile that didn't reach his sad eyes.

"I really didn't handle it too good, you know," he responded as he looked at her, while still wiping his red cheeks, "Sure, I managed it for the first three days without anyone's notice… but Isabelle noticed that things weren't right… that I wasn't right…" his voice started to break as he continued, "and then just today I screwed up one of her appointments and she asked me to take a break for awhile… she didn't even shout at me… you know her… but I was kinda disappointed of myself… I was hoping I could last longer… but then I realized I couldn't… it's just too painful I can cry an ocean…"

He looked at Rachel.

"You know how much I love him."

Rachel' eyes were swimming with her own tears too as she reached out and gave Kurt's hands an encouraging squeeze.

"I know," she heaved a sigh, "That's why you're going through this because you really love him, and I'm really sorry that he did that to you… but I can see where he is coming from…"

Kurt gave her a questioning look and Rachel nodded guiltily.

"I know—I know it's not an excuse and it's also the reason why Finn and I…"

Silence filled the two friends as they just gazed at one another.

"No," Kurt shook his head obstinately, "There's no excuse for what he did. He _was_ with someone, Rachel! And that's only because he was _lonely!_ That's not right… it's not right…he cheated on me… "

"I was lonely too!" Rachel cried in distress as she pointed at herself, "And I was so sorry for what I did—but Finn felt like he wasn't there anymore and then Brody came—and he gave me something to look up to…"

She looked at him and recognized that disbelief in his eyes.

"I know what I did was wrong…" she whispered in an almost cry like whisper with eyes springing up with tears, knowing that she was defending the wrong side… but it was her side too,"…that it's my fault because I'm not strong enough to believe he'd come back… and that just proves I don't really deserve anyone too… and I'm really sure Blaine feels the same… he knows that because of what he did to you he doesn't deserve you anymore than I deserve Finn… and just thinking about it makes my heart break so much I want to cry because we're not meant to be like this! In the beginning we all have our hopes—we're young and we're full of love… and it all ended up like this… like how normal relationship ends because of third parties and all that… yes—we always hear the same old stories and still never learn, isn't that ironic?" she laughed at this while pressing a cry.

"But it wasn't me who did it," Kurt said strongly as he wiped his eyes again, "I wouldn't be able to understand it because in the beginning I really have no plan to cheat him because I love him! And if he thought even for one second that he'd screw things up with me then he shouldn't have done it in the first place!"

Rachel nodded quietly while Kurt shook his head determinedly.

"It's not right… we're not cool…" he whispered with his painful heart both disagreeing and agreeing. Rachel looked up at him meaningfully and whispered,

"I just couldn't stop hoping that things would go back to normal… but that's impossible…"

Kurt didn't say anything as he listened to Rachel with own eyes filled with tears. The two of them remained silent for awhile with only the clock ticking on the background. And then she spoke again, more gentle this time and squeezing out her friend's hand.

"And you know what I'm also crying for, Kurt?" she whispered after a few moments with her voice croaking, "that someday we'll be like those old people out there who'd move forward with their lives and leaving things behind like this… with regrets…"

Kurt sniffed. "What's your point?"

Rachel looked him in the eye. The kind of piercing looks when you know that she was seriously thinking what she was going to say.

"I was thinking that maybe it's too early for you to let go of him—"

Kurt looked scandalized.

"Rachel—don't you get it? He cheated on me! On my back! With someone!"

"I know—!" Rachel pressed on, "but there's just too much love around the two of you, Kurt! I know you love him very much and he does, too! I'm sure he does! Otherwise he wouldn't come down here in New York to admit it to you! He knew what it would be like between the two of you once he says he was with someone—and he was ready to face it because he knew he deserved it!"

This time, Kurt pulled his hand away from Rachel who persistently made him listen by putting her hands on his face and locking gazes with his wet and filling eyes.

"Kurt, listen to me…"

"No—you're right!" Kurt suddenly burst out as he pulled himself up and looked at Rachel painfully, "I love him so much that's why I'm like this! The idea that he was with someone else tore me and broke me and there's no one else to blame but myself! I made it happen! I believed that we could do it like this—I was selfish! I made him suffer and the fact that I was the reason he was going through this pain right now is something I cannot forgive myself too! But he was still the first one who gave in, Rache… it was him… And I know I shouldn't forgive him for that! But my heart tells me the opposite! My heart tells me to love him and to understand him! But I just couldn't right now because I'm in pain—I have the right to be—! I'm in pain… we both are… and I really don't know how to fix that… but I really want it too… I really want it too…"

Rachel pressed her eyes closed and two fat tears slid down her cheeks. She stood up abruptly and gave Kurt a warm embrace to which he gratefully fell in and sank his head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt…" she cried on his ears as the two best friends cried and hugged, "but I know that it's best for you to really talk to him and tell him how you feel… Finn and I had that closure… and it's up to you if you want to continue or not, because Kurt, no matter what your situation is—even if you're the one who's wounded, it's still a matter of choice."

Kurt sniffed.

"Yeah…."

* * *

The bell rang and he was waiting.

He was just standing there by the piano, wearing his favourite black coat and waiting for him to come… he hoped he would be the first one… and his wish didn't fail him.

Blaine entered the room. The moment he looked up and found Kurt there by the piano, he became immobilized.

Kurt saw him stop half dead as Blaine finally saw him. There was a long pause.

And then Blaine's eyes suddenly got filled up with tears, but what he did next totally turned Kurt upside down. He ran away.

Kurt was left hanging as Blaine, for all he was worth, left him standing there all alone by the piano again.

What the hell?

"Blaine!" he shouted as he scurried after him to the hallway. He ran past some of the Glee club members who instantly recognized him but he didn't have time to say anything. He only had one thing on his mind and that was catching that boy running away so fast like death was after him.

"Blaine, what the hell!" he shouted after running some more, past the cafeteria into the empty locker hall but he didn't show any sign of stopping. This pissed Kurt. Wasn't he the one who's supposed to do the running and not the chasing?

"If you don't stop running away I'll never forgive you!" he shouted heatedly as they finally reached the hallway.

Blaine suddenly made a very dangerous halt, but he didn't face Kurt.

Kurt gulped but calmly composed himself again. He didn't think running would be part of what was supposed to be a heartfelt talk.

"Now, face me," he commanded strongly that suggested no opposition.

Blaine did it, but very slowly and really hesitantly. Then the green orbs met the other green. And finally, for a long time, here they were again and gazing at one another.

Kurt shook his head with his own eyes moistening, the way that Blaine's eyes did.

"Blaine," he started, "What the hell was that about? I didn't come here all the way to New York just to chase after you! Well, I did come here but not the chasing!"

Blaine merely stared at him with eyes almost tearful. Kurt pressed his lips closed… God, just staring at him was painful.

"You're not supposed to be here…" Blaine suddenly blurted out and finally a single tear slid down his red cheeks. Kurt looked hurt and shocked at what he heard and started to open his mouth to give his retort when Blaine shook his head again and continued, "No—I, I was trying to contact you… to apologize and many more… I thought I could…"

Kurt's lips trembled as Blaine confessed this to him in such a very honest fashion he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the emotion…

"I thought I could," he croaked again, "but seeing you right now, I realized I couldn't take it after all… I cannot face you after what I did…and I'm not ready enough… not ready for you to tell me that we're over."

Kurt's eyes flickered in understanding but he couldn't say anything to that. Blaine closed his eyes and shook his head, his eyes already filling with so many tears as he bowed his head and pressed a small sob.

"You earned it, you know?" Kurt whispered with gritted teeth, when in fact it was crushing his own heart by saying it, "You know you do… and you can't blame me for it… it was your fault…"

Blaine heaved a sigh as he nodded his head.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered. Kurt felt like there were blades on his heart.

"It's my fault too." He admitted that made Blaine look up at him in surprise, "I made us like this…. Believing so far that we can work our relationship out when in fact no one really has lasted that long… but that's because I believed we were strong… I didn't think you'd break so easily, Blaine…"

Blaine bit his lip and looked at the ground as Kurt continued, "But you know, I also realized that things like this happen to everyone who risks going on two directions at once… I had hoped we could do both and risked it… and here's the result, that's why I'm sorry for being the reason you went through this...I'm so sorry…"

Blaine slowly looked up at Kurt whose eyes were now clouded with watery tears and red nose.

"But it wouldn't change anything," Kurt continued as he sniffed and tried to gain control of his trembling lips, "you did it already… it cannot be undone… and I don't think it's best for us to pretend like nothing happened… I don't think I can do that… not now... so you're gonna have to respect my decision Blaine, when I tell you now that we're through…"

Blaine closed his eyes tightly with an agonizing expression on his face. Kurt was also crying so hard already that his last words were uttered almost impossible to be heard.

"I know," Blaine nodded as he tried to give an understanding smile to his ex, but failed miserably into a grimace, "I love you so much Kurt…"

He walked near him and reached slowly for his cheeks. Kurt didn't hesitate as they finally shared their final kiss of good bye… the words that he, Kurt, thought he would never say… but then, nothing lasts forever…

After the emotional kiss, the two separated and looked at each other's eyes.

"You are a great person, Kurt Hummel," Blaine whispered with a sincere face this time that made Kurt broke into sobs, "You are the greatest thing that ever happened in my entire life, and I'm so proud of you… I know that someday you'll be there where you wanted to be… and I so wanted to be beside you… but… I don't think I deserve you anymore."

Kurt's eyes widened.

"You are a much better person than I am… and I will forever regret what I did to you in my entire life…"

Kurt's heart pounded so heavily and beat under his chest like it was about to burst out as Blaine finally gave him a kiss on the forehead. He let go of his hand and slowly turned and walked away, leaving Kurt with his uneven breathing and a broken expression.

Was it justifiable to say the he was the one hurting the most? And was that even fair?

Kurt heaved a sigh and turned the other direction, and then walked away.

* * *

A week has passed after their emotional break up and Kurt is seen next to his table inside the company office. He was fine, as far as he could tell… well, maybe not fine-fine, but well, he always had his hopes up.

He looked over to his phone on his left which was lying quietly on his table. Blaine hadn't contacted him after they broke up.

Not like he expected him too, but well, as what has been said already, he always had his hopes up.

So he continued typing with his earpiece on and waiting for something to happen.

Well, something did. His phone started ringing.

Kurt shot it a quick look and was somehow disappointed _again_, that it wasn't who he was hoping it to be. He picked up his phone and answered quite distantly.

"Hello, Finn?"

"Oh, hey, Kurt, listen—"

"Don't beat around the bush with me, you know I'm busy," Kurt said curtly, but then he smiled, "kidding, but what's up?"

"Right—sorry, but I just called to tell you… we lost Blaine…"

Kurt's eyes darted from his computer screen and to his cell phone with his heart hammering, thundering and almost splitting his chest at what he heard.

"Wh-what?" he gasped and all the air in his lungs seemed to run out, "Clarify that right now if you know what's good for you! What do you mean 'lost'?"

"Oh—no, don't think that way—I'm sorry I startled you but it's not like that! No, I mean—he transferred school… back to this Warbler school,"

Kurt blinked with a total look of surprise and disbelief in his eyes.

"Just thought I'd tell you that…"

"Ah…yeah…"

Finn hung up, leaving Kurt looking confused.

Well...what did he expect? But just what does that suppose to make him feel?

**~ToBeContinued~**

_Suppose this will only take one last chapter~ cause I know whatever will come up on the next episode will change everything~ and I know it'll be more tough if the writers decided to give their relationship more angst!_

**_Just another bunny though :)_**

**_Thanks for Reading!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**All Over and After!**

**2**

_by: WhiteGloves_

**_Blaine's not really good with Romance:_**

**_Kurt's really passionate about it:_**

**_Two against the World:_**

**_The Future will Hold!_**

* * *

Kurt has just closed the door of their apartment when Rachel's face greeted him.

"Hey, Kurt," she called looking cheerful about something, "Guess what? I've just been praised by my dance teacher!"

"Oh, wow," Kurt said with a smile as he walked inside and dropped his bag on the counter, "that's an achievement. What did she say?"

"She told me 'uhuh' when I showed her my ballet hop! Isn't that amazing?!"

Kurt's jaw dropped as he gave Rachel a blank look. Rachel blinked and then automatically asked, "What?"

Kurt blinked so many times and then shook his head.

"Yeah, wow, that's amazing," he blabbed nodding vigorously, "I mean, yeah, you should be happy cause a nod is like a very good right and an 'uhuh' is equal to the next level, right?"

"My thoughts exactly! And now I'm way over the top!"

"And way over your head,"

"What's that?"

"Nothing," Kurt quickly said and then he gave his friend a serious look, "but look, Rachel, don't hop too high okay?"

"I know, that'll be the end of me on my teacher's eyes," she winked at him, "anyway, how's work?"

"It's fine, nothing much really," Kurt sighed as he slid himself down the floor looking suddenly lost. Rachel gave him one look, and then exactly knew what the problem was.

"You ok?" she asked as she slipped beside him.

"I don't know Rach," he shook his head as he placed his arms on his knees and set his head back till it was leaning on the wall behind him, "Finn called and told me Blaine transferred back to Warbler."

Rachel stared at him with no words to say.

"Finn called you?" she asked slowly, making Kurt press his lips.

"Oh right, it's about you," Rachel suppressed a sigh.

"I guess it's really over for us, huh?" he whispered quietly as his friend listened, "Going back to Warbler basically means he'll be with Sebastian right? And what would stop that octopus to wrap his eight long tentacles around him now that we're through?"

"Yeah, I totally get you," Rachel nodded in sympathy, "I mean, Blaine is really attractive, and talented. Remember how I nearly hooked up with him if not for the fact that he was gay? If he wasn't I would—"

She stopped blabbing when she noticed that Kurt has his eyebrows raised.

"I'm just saying," she pressed on, grabbing him by the arm and pressing her fingers on it, "Blaine's young and cool, talented and so many things! It's really impossible for him not to attract attention… and for you, my friend, you're also cool and talented and you have a career ahead of you… but when it comes to love, then I have to say you just let a lion slip under your clutches."

Kurt snorted and shook his head.

"Way to make me feel better, Rachel,"

"I'm not kidding—with Blaine's talent he could be the next broadway owner, d'you get what I'm saying?"

Kurt closed his eyes.

"He cheated on me. And he could be doing it again too. With Sebastian and for all I know that would really put on the widest smirk on Sebastian's face… I really don't know how to feel about this anymore."

"Well, do you love him?"

"Of course."

"Do you still care?"

"I won't be like this if I don't. Just thinking that he's with Sebastian makes me want to fly back there and get him back… Blaine's pretty emotional you know… I mean, I'm also emotional, but he's different. He can be this cool free style guy who only exists for fun, but there's also this vulnerable side of him that can be triggered with so much emotion… and not to mention he's a bad drinker… I know, I've seen it… and I can imagine what could have happened back when he was drunk with that other someone… because that's just how vulnerable he is when he drinks…"

"Do you think that other someone took advantage of him?"

"Don't ask me that, it just makes me more frustrated." Kurt heaved a heavy sigh, "From what he told me, he said he was feeling lonely… I should have seen it coming. The first time we fought over me going here. He said he was trying to be distant so that he knows a life without me. I should have seen the sign… Blaine couldn't survive McKinley without me that's why he returned to Warbler where his safe zone was… because that's the place he lived his whole life _without_ me… and now that's the place where Sebastian is… this is crazy… I broke up with him, I was the one that got cheated and I'm the one who's lonely and feeling sorry."

"Well, do you want to meet other guys?"

Kurt looked up at her with wide eyes. Rachel shrugged.

"I mean…"

Kurt patiently closed his eyes and licked his lips.

"That's a thought…. But I don't think so." was his flat answer, "as much as how reasonable it sounds, and as much as I want to meet new people… I don't think there's anyone out there that can make me feel the way Blaine made me feel."

He looked up at Rachel with sincere eyes.

"Because he's my first real love."

"Then go," Rachel inclined her head toward the door, making Kurt look at her seriously and sigh with a smirk.

"You know I can't do that. We just broke up. And _he_ cheated— "

"But he already apologized for that right?"

"Apologizing wouldn't change anything—"

"Oh yes, it would," Rachel said sounding convince of herself, like usual, "You can be together again. For the second time you can try it all over again."

"I don't get it, why do you always want to push me back to him?"

"Because you love him," Rachel answered simply, "and you know he loves you too… so what's making it so difficult? Everyone deserves a second chance, Kurt… I know it should take time before you feel okay with what happened—but what I see right now is my best friend dying and that fact concerns me! Between you dying and pretending you're ok with someone else, I'd rather see you leave this room and go to Blaine."

"But why should I be the one to go there?" Kurt didn't understand that fact… why would he be the one to always do the soothing then?

"Well," Rachel shrugged his shoulders, "it's because you're the one who understands better between the two of you, right?"

Kurt's eyes flickered as he looked closely at his friend. Rachel took her time to look down her hands, before looking up at Kurt again with knowing eyes.

"It's not that easy to forgive, I know, Finn and I have been there for so many times, but Kurt, it's different with you and Blaine… you've been in love with each other for all I care… you're the most perfect couple I've ever laid my eyes on… besides, it's better to _love_ than to _hate_, right?"

Kurt gave her a long look, before looking down the floor and sighing.

"You really make it sound so easy," he said softly, "I just hope it's easier to be done."

"Kurt, come on," Rachel encouraged more, "I don't like seeing you like this… even if I ask you to hang out and enjoy ourselves, at the end of the day you'd still be this sad Kurt like you are right now... Enjoying parties and pretending to move on—that's not it… you love him… he's your perfect guy… so come on Kurt… I just want you to be happy."

She rubbed his arm and smiled down at him while Kurt cast down a very serious face.

* * *

The next day Kurt is seen marching on the hallway of Warbler's school with his shoulder bag swinging beside him. He looked resolute. He slid down the round staircase and headed toward the music room where he could hear people singing.

Kurt stopped in front of the door as he heard Blaine's familiar voice singing behind the doors.

_"We take three steps forward and three steps back,_

_She says "I don't like the way you're dressed"_

_So then four words later, she takes four back_

_She says "I don't like the way you're tryin' your best to impress__"_

_You win. _

_Everything you do, Makes me wanna run_

_Home, will you get me going_

_Home, will you get me going_

_Home, home!"_

Kurt felt his knees give away as he heard his voice. It has been a long time since he heard Blaine sing… god it has really been a long time… he felt nostalgic… he felt everything he felt before… and he mustered his strength and pulled the doors open.

And there was Blaine, smiling and laughing around his Warbler friends. He was back to his joyous self. When was the last time he saw Blaine happy like that?

_"Give me what I want,_

_Give me what I want,_

_Give me what I want,_

_Give me, What I __want, want,__"_

And then Blaine looked up and found him, and there was this surprise expression that enveloped his face, followed by the silence of those around them.

Kurt raised his chin but somehow felt uncertain as Blaine looked at him so piercingly. He couldn't help noticing the sadness that overcame Blaine's expression next. That pretty face that has been joyful… now making one of the saddest expressions in the world…

"Kurt?" Blaine called out as if he wasn't sure if what he was seeing was true.

Kurt was about to answer when he saw Sebastian suddenly walk in front of Blaine and faced him.

"Well, hello there," he said placidly.

Kurt couldn't help the contraction of his eyebrows.

"I came to talk to Blaine," Kurt said firmly as he tried to look over to Blaine who was still being blocked by Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian raised his eyebrows as if he couldn't believe what Kurt has just said when Blaine appeared behind him, still eyes fixed on Kurt.

"Blaine," Sebastian said that made Kurt frown, "you wouldn't want to do this."

Kurt wanted to retort but he really didn't know what to say. What was Sebastian and Blaine's status anyway? Were they together? Was Blaine able to get over him easily? Or was it because he was so lonely?

The look Sebastian was giving him was enough to make him believe he was on his way on achieving his goal… but Kurt wouldn't just let that happen… under his dead body.

Blaine nodded his head, but then Sebastian reached a long hand and placed it on Blaine's left shoulder, making Kurt feel flair of jealousy sprang up on his chest. He wanted to hook his arm around Blaine again, but that wouldn't be right… they broke up after all… but this Sebastian…

He was left feeling foolish and hurt.

"Let's go outside," Blaine said quietly without looking at Sebastian and Kurt felt relieved. Sebastian looked as if he swallowed a microphone as Blaine walked passed Kurt who followed him until they found each other sitting by the comfortable room where they shared their first kiss.

Kurt wanted to point that so bad but had to strain himself not to give his emotions away. They sat across each other with Blaine's eyes transfixed at Kurt who at that moment felt like melting.

"This uniform really suits you," Kurt started, giving close attention to how the blue coat and red lining really emphasized Blaine's features.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered with a small smile, "I actually just got this from the dry clean…it's been a long time since I last wore it so it was kinda dusty."

Kurt nodded and pressed a smile. He was already nervous. What was he doing there again?

The same question seemed to be on Blaine's mind as he looked at Kurt with meaningful eyes.

"What are you doing here, Kurt?"

Kurt looked down the table and then up at Blaine. What was he suppose to say? That he was still in love with the guy? That it doesn't matter if he cheated him or not because he was willing to forgive him? That he was willing to spend more time with him even if it meant affecting his career—no wait… maybe that topic can be rearranged.

"I heard you quit McKinley…" he answered instead with emotions mounting up.

He was surprised when he saw tears sprang up Blaine's eyes, making him look very tired and fed up.

"Yeah… what do you expect me to do?" he asked huskily, "I've no reason to stay there anymore…I lost you…. I can't stay there. It'll just remind me of you… and I don't want that because it hurts…"

Kurt felt his own eyes sting with tears.

"I understand…" he whispered, "perfectly well…"

Blaine controlled his tears and heaved a sniff.

"So you came all the way from New York just to check if I really transferred, is that it?"

Kurt looked up.

"Maybe," he whispered with a sudden determination in his eyes, "I was hoping I can find the reason why I returned…"

Blaine gave him a questioning look, and then shook his head.

"Kurt, I am so sorry for what I did… you know I didn't mean that…"

"I know, you were drunk, you told me," Kurt sighed, feeling suddenly light that he was able to accept one of Blaine's shortcomings, "but you know, you're gonna have to stop drinking if you're always gonna end up like that…otherwise I'd really tie you up."

Blaine shot Kurt a look of surprise again.

"Wait… what do you mean?"

And as silly as he felt, Kurt refused to say more because he doesn't know what should be said next. Was he suppose to say let's go back together since all has been forgiven? Or should he warn Blaine that it was their last shot?

Blaine suddenly grabbed Kurt's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Kurt," he croaked, "what are you saying?"

Kurt quickly wiped the tear that ran down his cheek and chuckled.

"You really don't get it, how much I love you…"

Blaine bowed his head down and reached his other hand to Kurt who was also feeling the intense emotion surrounding them. Just then, Blaine looked up with a painful expression that made Kurt nervous again.

"Kurt," he whispered after a moment, removing his hands from Kurt's and sitting straight and rigid, "I don't know… I'm not sure I still deserved you…"

"Blaine—"

"No, I screwed up!" Blaine wiped his face but the tears wouldn't just stop coming and at that moment, Kurt felt more scared than ever, "I—I don't know why I even did that… It's not right to you! I betrayed you and I hate myself for that! I love you, and I can't be selfish with you…so I can't… not after that…"

"Blaine… stop," Kurt felt like he was about to die, as he leaned over and grabbed Blaine's arm "stop it, now…"

"I love you," Blaine closed his eyes tightly, making Kurt feel his pain and he went over to Blaine and embraced him.

"It's okay…" he whispered softly, his hands tightly clutching on that person who was breaking before him, "Blaine, please stop crying…it's ok…I'm not gonna let go of you just yet… Blaine, I love you so much."

And Kurt believed Rachel now… that it was better to _love_ than to _hate…_ because right now he felt much better than the past few days… and here was the answer… because of this person beside him.

A week later…

Kurt was back to town for awhile despite his busy schedule. It was one of those sacrifices that he was willing to do because he was serious when he said he doesn't want to let go of both his career and the love of his life. It wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

Kurt watched Blaine sing out his heart freely on the stage, giving all his got and giving all his best while he, Kurt, sat with the audience, admiring him with all those other _people._ And when he meant people, he meant all girls and boys alike. Kurt looked over his shoulder and saw the ladies' dreamy eyes and the men's amazement that made him wonder how many of them would join his league sooner or later. Then he looked back at Blaine who was oblivious of all the attention but most concerned about his ecstatic performance.

This made him most concerned.

Not that Blaine would actually betray him _again_ but that some _people_ tend to be scary when they openly flirt with his boyfriend. Say for instance, when they were hanging out at the Lima, a jock from another school just suddenly turned out and started throwing these meaningful gazes and smiles at Blaine— who was not totally oblivious of the intention, but is too polite to refuse the smile. Kurt had to hook his arm on Blaine's once or twice to give those strangers the signal but sometimes it's not even the case. Some were pretty bold like approaching their table and actually sending out mouthful of compliments and then asking for Blaine's number!

Kurt understands the fact that Blaine is one of these cool gay guys that everyone couldn't help looking up to because all about him was amazing! But to actually shove him off aside like he wasn't there was an insult. Every time it happens, he always had this urge to kiss Blaine in public—if not of his own moral about being _private._

In fairness to that, Blaine always apologizes for all the trouble.

But _attraction_ to his boyfriend can never be avoided.

And that was what he pointed out when they were together in his room after the day.

"Can you just stop being gorgeous and just pay all your _amazingness_ to me?" he asked innocently while lying on the bed on his stomach to Blaine, who was on the other side of the room and trying to change his clothes. He looked over Kurt with wondering eyes.

"What?"

"Oh, come on! You know how those people kept throwing themselves at you because they think you're cool and very attractive…"

Blaine was silent for a moment, and then he broke into a grin.

"Do I detect jealousy here?"

Kurt sat on the bed and nodded vigorously as Blaine walked near him.

"Yeah, totally." He admitted, "I don't know how to stop them anymore, I mean they just keep coming out of nowhere! And what am I suppose to do? Tie my arms at you every time they make movements? I mean—seriously! I thought we were alone in our world… I didn't think there are so many gays out there already!"

"Hey, whoa," Blaine was grinning widely as he sat beside Kurt who was pouting as he continued,

"And you know who the key is? It's you!"

"Me?" Blaine blinked.

"Yeah, you," Kurt emphasized, "You're cute and hot and gifted—everyone just wants to be with you."

"Well, not really… I mean, yeah—but that doesn't make me want to be with them, right?" Blaine reasoned.

"You say that," Kurt said with narrowed eyes, "but you actually flirt with them."

Blaine looked totally shock.

"When did I—?"

"Oh, but you like all the attention to you,"

"Kurt—"

"And you like it when I'm all protective of you and jealous!"

Blaine shut his mouth at that which didn't escape Kurt's knowing eyes.

"See? I know what you were doing…"

"Look, Kurt," Blaine raised his hands in defence, "I don't know what I was doing, but I'm sure I wouldn't let you feel that way like you weren't even there and all that!"

"I know, but the way you flirt with them makes me look like an idiot,"

"Hey—whoa! Pause over there!" Blaine hovered in front of Kurt and touched those porcelain cheeks, "I don't flirt with them! What made you say that? I mean—yeah sometimes I kinda have this feeling of playing along—but it never crossed my mind to— I love you, Kurt!"

And that makes the difference.

Kurt tried not to smile but it was too hard not to show how pleased he was. Blaine plopped himself beside his boyfriend and sighed with a pout.

"Actually, if you ask me… I think you're not off the hook either."

He gave Kurt a meaningful look, who on the other hand looked confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There are guys out there who have their eyes on you!" Blaine exclaimed with a very concerned face.

Kurt blinked so many times at Blaine who can't seem to get over his emotions.

"They walk around you, try to get your attention… I mean, hey, who am I kidding? It's like you're the most beautiful person out there! You're even more beautiful than Rachel—!"

"Whoaa—hey, stop!" Kurt enclosed his palms on Blaine's face and looked him in the eye. Blaine looked seriously troubled and Kurt couldn't help but feel an extra amount of love filling him. "Stop, okay? I get it…"

Blaine sighed, and for Kurt, he was the most handsome jealous guy he has ever seen. And cute too.

"There's no need to worry about them," he explained patiently to his jealous young lover, "I don't even notice them and that's because I only have my eyes on you, Blaine… you're the most perfect guy love for me… there's no way I'll let you go, you're stuck with me."

He encouraged Blaine to look him in the eye. Blaine slowly did and their forehead touched. Then his boyfriend smiled and they kissed sweetly, making Kurt so glad he had this special relation to this amazing guy.

"Did you mean it?" he asked softly when their lips parted for a moment.

"What?" Blaine whispered, still trying to catch his lips.

"That I'm beautiful,"" Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck, making Blaine smile too and kiss his lips.

"Totally," he answered and they fell into a sweet kiss again.

They laughed off after the sweet moment and Blaine skidded off toward his favourite place—the open floor where he can enjoy his jolly movements and dance around while Kurt watch.

Kurt looked contented as he watched his boyfriend.

"When are you going back to NY?" Blaine suddenly asked that made Kurt blink.

"Oh, probably later. Isabelle's been calling me too, they really can't make it without me."

Blaine grinned in agreement as he made a manoeuvre.

"They're all loving you there," he said sounding glad, "I swear I wouldn't make any fuss about you being busy, but I love having you here."

Kurt felt something flutter in his stomach. Yes, they were back together… and he's been coming back and forth for Blaine… but, there was still this one issue that he can't seem to get over with.

"Blaine," he started quietly that made Blaine look up, "who's Eli?"

Blaine's face turned cloudy and he shook his head.

"No, let's not talk about him." He said firmly and there was this resolute expression on his eyes. Kurt sat properly on the bed and suppressed a sigh. Just too many rivals for his boy.

"Come on," Kurt said that made Blaine stop dancing, "it's about time you tell me who he is… so that I know…"

Blaine stared at Kurt with fixed eyes. Kurt didn't look away but gazed seriously at him too.

Who _is _Eli?

**~ToBeContinued~**

_November Come What MAY!_

**_Thanks for Reading!_**


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